Pandemic Humor

I’m as bored as an Amish electrician.

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Ontario, Canada has banned groups larger than 5.
If you’re a family of 6, you’re all about to find out who is the least favorite!

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The longer this goes on, the harder it will be
to return to a society where pants and bras are required!

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Happy Hour is starting earlier and earlier.

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If this keeps up, I’ll be pouring wine in my cereal!

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Today’s Weather?
Room temperature.

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30 Days Hath September, June and November

All the rest have 31 … except April which had 8000

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Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.
Now weed’s legal and school's closed … damn k**s are livin’ the dream!

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This is stupid. I just tried to make my own hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum & coke!
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If you get an email with the subject “Knock Knock”, don’t open it.

It’s a Jehovah Witness working from home

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After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew
walking by on the sidewalk outside.
I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them.

Now I understand why dogs carry on like they do.

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Day 30 of social isolation and it’s looking like Las Vegas in my house:

We’re losing money by the minute.

Cocktails are acceptable at any hour.

Nobody knows what time it is.


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